Speaker 1  

I'm gonna invite you to jump on gallery view and for those that are here and would be open to popping on your camera that would be wonderful. Feel like it would be lovely to have us in the space in the best way that we can with the best of your ability because we are coming to our final stretch and I really want to feel and see you and of course I know for some it's not possible or even if you're in bed I don't care. During the shower, I don't care I don't want to see you knowing that you can be scruffy and tired or walking in the streets or doing whatever it is that you need to be doing. Showing up in whatever way that you can. So lovely to see you all. Just take a little peek on gallery view at the other ladies in the space as well. Want you to spend like a couple of seconds per auto tune is important. Just know that as you are looking at someone someone is looking at you somebody is gonna send you a nice lemon and then it's my buddy leaning forward a lot and we invite you to do the same just kind of lean back and have an openness of seeing and being seen

 

Speaker 1  

seen what it's like to witness other beings and also knowing that someone is seeing your beautiful face. Beautiful energy

 

Speaker 1  

I'm about to close your eyes will have an inward gaze and sense what it's like right now. Having this moment of intimate contact

 

Unknown Speaker  

struggling if there's any tension you're holding in your body

 

Speaker 1  

I'm just opening your eyes again and just checking with your resource if you have everything that you need right now. If you need something else, something more something less.

 

Speaker 1  

You ready you can slowly start looking around the space.

 

Unknown Speaker  

Need to contact with your buddy

 

Unknown Speaker  

God give two minutes to yourself. It's really feeling and sensing what your body wants to do this couple of minutes

 

Speaker 1  

chopping into a field of listening. Taking a bit deep breath and I want to invite you to just start from stillness and then notice what wants to come maybe movement maybe breathing

 

Unknown Speaker  

can you ask closed

 

Unknown Speaker  

distancing yourself?

 

Speaker 1  

I'm gonna invite you to stand up and walk around your space and just they just want you to walk in like a contemplative way as if you are arriving into a new space and you just almost like orienting, but I want you to get up and walk around your space and orient like really go to the corners of your room. We'll do the same. And it's like a walking meditation. But I want you to do

 

Unknown Speaker  

this again by

 

Speaker 1  

taking a step like one step really slowly in front of the other.

 

Unknown Speaker  

There's nowhere to go.

 

Unknown Speaker  

You just

 

Speaker 1  

travel around your space, letting the space in

 

Speaker 1  

even take a pause where you are and just look at an object and take a couple of breaths

 

Speaker 1  

breathing through the nose just allowing the sigh out and continue moving around the space

 

Speaker 1  

when it feels right to take a little pause you can just be gone for a moment

 

Unknown Speaker  

so allow yourself to continue shifting looking at the ground looking at the roof

 

Speaker 1  

you're ready you can slowly come back to your place in the same way that you moved around the room. No rushing just slowly coming back

 

Unknown Speaker  

open your eyes and just sensing yourself what does it feel like now to be you noticing the sounds that you hear the temperature the textures on your skin from your clothes so February

 

Speaker 1  

just letting the body respond elements to in this breath maybe there's some emotion maybe that's nothing much. Maybe that's in your own

 

Speaker 1  

invite you to just inquire for a moment. What part of myself have I left behind today? Even if it's six o'clock in the morning. What part of myself? Have I left behind today? I'm not going to give you any more understanding of what I mean. I just want you to find out what that means to you and what else comes

 

Speaker 1  

maybe he left the part of you behind that needed to take the morning a little slower. You got to take a little nap in the afternoon.

 

Unknown Speaker  

I needed to eat earlier needed a hug but didn't know how to reach out for one didn't feel something that has been sitting there for a while. Maybe the part that wants to play the part that isn't only the desire or longing

 

Unknown Speaker  

maybe it was just a deep breath

 

Speaker 1  

just for another two minutes going to connect with ourselves with whatever piece of information we received right now. To see if we can meet that part in some way. Some acknowledgement, recognition,

 

Unknown Speaker  

forgiveness understanding to see what it is that you need to do to rekindle the part that maybe has been left Behind

 

Unknown Speaker  

Slowly we already planted back into state.

 

Speaker 1  

Now I'm going to invite you to stand up again. So let's stand up. We're doing some energy shifting right now. So we're shifting in between sales. We're going inward. We're walking around and just see if you can continue this stream of whatever you're connected to. But now we're going to bring the energy up we're just going to move our bodies a little bit. So when you're ready, just finding the space again in the room. It's easy for us to get comfortable where we are

 

Unknown Speaker  

Just taking a couple of deep breaths and I want you to let out any sound that wants to come.

 

Speaker 1  

You ready come in sit down. I will make you get up again.

 

Speaker 1  

Just closing your eyes or having an inward gaze and just checking in again how you feel in the body

 

Speaker 1  

Hey, now you must be hating all my sounds I know.

 

Unknown Speaker  

I didn't forget what you said.

 

Speaker 1  

So, welcome everybody. I'm curious, who know who notices that their body starts to make more size and sounds the more open. You feel. I'm curious if you notice, like, Hey, let me change my question. What do you notice your body does naturally once you connect yourself once you open up a little bit more. I'd love to just actually hear from a couple of voices and so I noticed that the there's a deep there's a drop of my voice like even just from 25 minutes ago my voice is lower. You can feel it. I can feel it. I can hear it. I can feel myself more dropped into my body with my voice. I can feel my well there's energy that's moving through me which then creates more physiological deep breaths so that those deep breaths are the ones that just sort of happen by themselves when not inviting it in. I feel more present I feel more grounded. I feel here I feel more alive. So yeah, I'd love to see what you feel maybe like I don't feel anything or I feel more emotion has come up whatever it is So Rebecca

 

Speaker 2  

for me, I think the biggest thing has been my breasts, like people that I've just been with or whether I've been like on a day like where before I would like notice but it's just for me like normal just to breathe however loudly I read. And I remember I was like you're breathing really loudly and I was like, oh, like I'm just reading dialogue. I felt like I don't even think about that anymore. And then I think for me like I also just am so much more aware. Like at first I wanted to have judgment about it. But like even this week, I was like, Oh my gosh, I feel like my body is in a with what I've been through. It's a pretty constant state of dysregulation but not like an abort like it's not functionally but I just noticed or like for me it's just like my chest is like this like kind of all day long. And I'll do my self regulation or CO regulation but just from like my tremors that I'm working through my oh there's so much more aware of like it was it's probably been like this all along and it's not like it's not like it bothers me. It's just that I noticed more like I really noticed my breath and just like the state of my nervous system. It's like oh, wow, I think it's been like this for a really long time.

 

Speaker 1  

Better what is it that you feel after you do some kind of connection to your to your breath to your touch? To your sound? What is the natural kind of after effects that you experience?

 

Speaker 2  

I I think like just presence more presence probably. Yeah.

 

Speaker 1  

Yeah. And I'm really happy to hear that you are in contact with yourself and noticing how your system has been operating and the deep breaths that are coming through and yeah, that kind of reflection when we're around those that feel curious. Or confronted or a bit puzzled around that. And yeah, I appreciate it when we have those reflections like oh, I didn't even notice because it becomes also just a part of who we are. And this isn't to say that you've achieved a somatic embodiment if you're breathing deeply. It's absolutely not about that. It's just your own contact with your body. Whatever that is. That you love. Oh, there was no just popped up with me someone else? Yes. At least Yeah. How do I say your name? Elise. Alicia, Alicia, Alicia Yeah. Okay, I just I've never seen it spelt with a J before. It's from Poland. It's about your background. So that's coming through. Let

 

Speaker 3  

me let me leave my son is watching something. I tried to keep him company sorry. I was hoping you didn't come through. All right. Yes. So for me, one of the things I've been using of course, I don't know if you've seen it, but I'm like seven months, seven and a half months pregnant. So I'm like third trimester emotional roller coaster. I cried every kind of word and I get really upset that the littlest things and so what I notice is that I'm able to just breathe through it and just like have a little bit of a distance because I watch it with kindness rather than my second one. So I was like, kind of with the first one. I would just like really? Just be in it and be asked to be emotion. And this practice allowed me to kind of disconnect a little bit from that and just watch it with loving kindness. It's been really helpful, because I can go and tell my husband Hey, I'm in portrait mode right now. I just want to know we laugh about it, and he also knows how to navigate.

 

Speaker 1  

Beautiful, and what are the very immediate effects that you notice? Like just now when we've done this practice, what are the what? What do you notice your body doing right after?

 

Speaker 3  

So yes, breathing deeper and longer, and just kind of relaxing. And being more present. Just like Rebecca said, yes, absolutely. I do also, like because I'm also a person that's more than hypo arousal. So I'm usually always chill. And the practice is to actually that that takes me out of my comfort zone to actually move and I noticed immediately a mood shift into like being happy and laughing and more bubbly.

 

Unknown Speaker  

Thank you so much. I'm so excited for your baby to come through. Okay, I have a last one Nina.

 

Speaker 4  

During the deep breaths, and I'm noticing it more now but it's like a radiant opening a radiant softening. It's almost like I feel like I'm often really contracted like right here in the front of my body and in the center of my body. And it's like the deep breaths kind of allow it to like melt through and like I'm occupying more of myself. So there's

 

Speaker 1  

just love that I'm occupying more of myself. It's a beautiful wonderful way to I'm pointing out this because little sentences like this can help people be like, oh, yeah, that's what I want or not occupying myself so much. So I just want to highlight these little terms that can support people to kind of cognitively understand or feel the experience of something like this.

 

Speaker 4  

But you noted that and the other day I was hanging out with friends, and I believed it out loud and made a sound. And one of my friends looked at me and mimicked me. And I was like that was weird, but I thought of you and it made me laugh. And it was also like you can track like a cultures repression by how they go messing around in my head. Their immediate impulse was to mimic me even to somebody they just did it too and that's

 

Speaker 1  

exactly they did it too. So it benefited them. And it's interesting how when people feel uncomfortable, they do things like that as well. It can also be sort of like a defense mechanism in a way of like, whoa, okay, what was this thing and throw it back the other way? But I think different thinking more so. About that. And it's very true. Just by these little things like breathing deeply do get a reflection of a repression. And these are the things that if you're not already all happening, you've been for a long time, but you'll start to just notice more and more and that's why community is really important, I feel because I know that I feel alone a lot. I feel alone and yet I care less at the same time. Like I'm more and more myself. And more and more. And I say myself when I'm talking to myself more, there is an organic element that starts to come through there is something that drops and I feel just more natural. It's not a an identity that's come on or that I'm walking in the streets like I'm disempowered or anything like that. There's just a kind of an ease fulness in what my body wants to do, how it wants to be in words, in most regards. That comes with the stretching or the breathing or whatever it is. And I even noticed the other day I was laying down on the bed or the couch and then I just had my leg up against the wall and my question was like, I love how you do that. I love how you just like scrolling the legs up on the wall, and I'll say something if you want to do things like that. Maybe they'd give me a bit when someone's reflecting you're just being in your body. It's noticeable for them as well. There's something that they notice that they recognize, and I feel like animals have this like animal assault in their body, right? They just sprawl out. They just do whatever they want. And Sarah said my daughter does that as a keeps keeps you keeps us so in my bodies, and this is ours like this is us. You just had this edge out of us. And yeah, for me, a lot of this work is like a peeling away and a restoration. It's just restoring what's already been there. And a lot of the time it's coming back to how I inhabited my body when I was like five four years old and a bit more maturity and like mobility and orientation of space. But whatever oh there is this kind of we could call it a readiness. If we wanted to you know when we when we look at the erotic is our aliveness of a lifeless and that piece of innocence that coupled with it. This this is alive in the sense of the replays of what everybody was alive, alive. In essence. I want you to sit with this word right now. These two words alive in a sense

 

Speaker 1  

what are the images that come to you sensations that come to you when you sit with alive in a sense or in a sense of aliveness?

 

Speaker 1  

What other words come to you have spontaneity that comes up for me? Non judgement of what is joy is curiosity. Freedom.

 

Speaker 1  

Now, I'd love to ask you a question. What does freedom mean to you? This is just a word to me. Right? I want to know what freedom actually feels. Like a means to you.

 

Speaker 5  

I guess the way I experience it is ask permission. unapologetic permission to just be in contact with what is going on is reliable and informal income

 

Speaker 1  

conflict with what is that's another one line up we've got that occupying myself not being in conflict with what is

 

Speaker 1  

not being in conflict with what needs for you and your body to hear his words actually leads to string together really beautifully occupying myself and not being in conflict with what he is such wisdom in this space. The most immediate convert no limitations explorations beautiful. So this was a very, very, very spontaneous 48 minutes. I didn't plan any of that. But this was what felt true because that's what happened. And now what we are going to do is shift into the conversation around facilitation. However, what I want to also speak to is we are coming closer and closer to the beginning. of the journey through the birth canal of the container, the portal the universe, certification the paradigm shifting the opening the remembrance, space sanctuary, Soul Retrieval journey that many of us have been on including myself through this 10 months or however long it's been so far. I have to say it's going extremely fast. I cannot even really wrap my head around any of that at the time. It really feels like I don't know where it's gone. And then when I look at teachable I'd like to really do all of that. And welcome to like integration period. Now. I want to deepen a bit more around the notes and the lives of facilitation. And we'll have a look at one thing.

 

Speaker 1  

So we have this session, and then we have a break until the sixth of January. And we have the sixth and seventh of January. And then we have the 13th and 14th of January we have two weekends in a row and my aim is for this session to go into facilitation and facilitation. And then, when we come back, we're going to be exploring, we're going to be circling back to embodied leadership and revisiting. If you can remember and if you have notes, what you wrote down around what is the signature that I want to leave on the world. What is the signature I want to leave when I walk into a room, one of the parts of me that I want to feel more in resonance with I will re re introduce the journal prompts that we gave you at the very beginning of the year. I pretty sure we gave you these journal prompts. It was a while ago now and to look and connect to who we are becoming. And the three that I'm going to be with you to discover what is your story and how does that express as your core teaching and offering. Now that's a pretty big thing. What I mean by that is, I want you to deepen your contact with your lived experience, whatever themes in your life that have challenged you that has caused pain that has caused insight that has caused revelation, connection, disconnection, what are some central themes that have played out in your life that you have grown from that you've learned from that you've cultivated wisdom from? Because this is where I personally feel our deepest transmissions come from and all that you have learned over the year is in support. Of that. You understand what I mean? When I say that, so when we jump into I noticed myself wanting to go deeper, but I'm gonna just give you that introduction and when we started I will give you insight into how I have visioned my work through my own life, teachings through my own life initiations. I give you a very quick one because I can't help myself right now. My work with women started primarily around working with threat jealousy and competition between women, which then emerged into kind of a body of work of the shadow side of the feminine, and that structure, competition emerged from my inquiry into being slut. shamed by women when I was a teenager. And my psychological zest of research of the shadow entered, so my stream of exploration came from my obsession and my lover shaped with Aikido suppressed and denied and then coupled that with experiences that I had had and started to formulate, it's almost like pieces of a puzzle. Just lumping in erotica, innocence again, being sexualized at such a young age, and losing contact with this innocence within myself and working with children and realizing Wow, this was such a big piece that I missed and coming into deeper contact with those teachings how they through my body, what practices do I create, or I'm inspired by that support me to guide others into that exploration? You're getting what I'm meaning now. Yeah. So that's why this training is not a cookie cutter training. This training isn't like I get a BMC and then I can do a BMC. And that can be frustrating in certain ways for those that really want to leave with like a feed. But you're not a stainless. You're a soul that has so much to offer. And I really wanted to empower and inspire you to get put we're very lazy these days, you know basically everything on a fucking slide off for us. You know, like I'm not saying this in jail. I don't actually feel this from any of you. It's an overall judgment, or it's an observation and discernment. And this is a time for you to really get in touch with the gifts that you have to give because every teacher that teaches on this program is speaking from that place. But if you see someone like Salida, right, I personally feel she has an incredible amount of potency. But let's begin. And that transition comes from her actively leaving out what she what she teaches, but she's not living out what she teaches. She teaches what she lives, right. That's that embodied leadership piece. So I'm going to stop here because we're going to go into that session on the sixth of January. And then I will kind of give you some what we're going to work on like how to create workshop structures and also creating some lesson plans for you as well. Some ideas like pulling together lectures and practices and showing you how we can leave sessions even with your own, like creative spark as well. So that's going to be very much more of like the content and creation side for workshops and women's circles, for instance. And today I'm going to go into more practical information which is about facilitating in fruits and I want you to just take a moment and sense sort of kind of like had a gap of talking now. So maybe it's not so fresh. But if you can just sit for a moment and feel into what are some key elements and principles you felt that I've done just today just as this first part of the session. In terms of facilitation. Just see if you can reflect grasp anything maybe there's one thing that you remember I've done

 

Unknown Speaker  

a way I've communicated with someone who came on and shared

 

Speaker 1  

starting back same Unitas lots of pausing and breads providing music for limited internal connection. Jimmy Can you also copy and paste to be used so we have a middle lift slowing down flow of energy and movement with deep self love and awareness? Work with imagining yourself and the group breath and walking, orienting intersection. Intersection and proprioception I love they don't need these to be bugs music complimentary for the love that you shared that you feel alone a lot. It makes me feel that's listen alone, working with the unfolding field giving space for going inward. Spontaneous with what felt right in the moment orienting movement breathing touch us with curiosity for the other person to go deeper in what they found. And moving back and forth between nervous systems, right. Yeah. So these are all great things to recognize. And that lets me know that things are landing for you. Whether you're new at this or you've been traveling this for awhile in the facilitator lens. And I know a lot of a lot of you are also doing this as a personal journey and some aren't interested in facilitating or not yet others are realizing that that's exactly what they need to do. Now after traveling this year, but what's beautiful about all of this is the way that you can apply all of this to relating with other people communicating with other people being with other people. Yeah. That doesn't mean that every time you hang out with your friends you're like, let's take a pause. Ha, how do you feel in your body right now? You know, it's like, Bitch gossip, sugar like, you know, the issue room, please. And what I find is that a lot of this just brings me into more presence with those that I'm with I'm in contact and in contact. It's the people around me. I'm I'm I'm feeling a choose and it's not a doing it's it's there. It's it's experienced. Again, that doesn't mean that it's always the case. However, after a long time of sort of facilitating and just being in that space with the man. It becomes kind of normal for me personally, I also studied psychotherapy at 19. So I had it drilled into me a long time ago, how to be with others, so that has somehow been weaved. into how I relate as well. But whatever you're doing here, it impacts your relationships in a beautiful way, I would say and it also highlights my lack of achievement views as well, which is again sometimes there. We just have to let that go as well because what I have found is that I can sense a lack of like an achievement, this achievement and lack of achievement to use. It's obvious to me I can feel it. And there's also an acceptance of not trying to get other people to be achieved. There's shadows that can also play out here. So I'm just speaking to this too. There's ways that we can create this connection by there's an interesting loop. It's like we can feel that we're attuned and connected and then someone who's not attuned and then be like, I want them to be attuned and then when we're losing contact in that moment, rather than being like, Okay, I'm here. And maybe we realize after a while, this isn't someone that I want to spend so much time with and that's okay. We'll find people that I can drop in more with or be alone or whatever, you know, we also can kind of have our preferences and there's nothing wrong with that but also not trying to change people. And that can be difficult for those who are in partnerships and they're going through a process like this. And they know that that maybe their partner isn't traveling through the same journey and that there can be tension that arise as well. It's it's important that we don't try to change people we can inspire them, but if they're not really interested in that journey, then the only masters in that process to navigate yourself and again, why community is so important. Okay, I'm going off on a lot of tangents. So, when we are facilitating there are a variety of nuances that create a space that someone can walk away from an NGO, I felt helped in that they were a good facilitator. When you start facilitating you can also notice good facilitators and people who maybe are what I noticed are people who are good facilitators and often those good facilitators have some kind of nervous system understanding. That's what I've started to track because those that have some kind of recognition of the nervous system, their spaces are being held, and they don't even talk about it. Right. It's just the way that they're facilitating the space and other nervous systems are navigating through it. Other spaces that I find quite dysregulated are those that don't have a connection to the nervous system. And there's a pacing that isn't there. There's something about the pace and the lack of transition, the lack of integration, it's like another success and that was one and get a new Share and a new Share and you share and there's no pauses there's no digestion. So the number one thing that I want you to sense as you will have the most epic teaching and the worst facilitation and it's not gonna it's not gonna fully land for people. Right? I'm speaking in quite some polarities right now but I would say what makes a workshop good or a space good is the facilitation, not the teaching? The teaching is actually secondary. That's a pretty big strong statement. And I don't know if I 100% agree with what I said. But I agree with about 70% 80% Because I've really been to lectures or people who are phenomenal minds, but they have no idea how to teach them. No, I didn't facilitate. So it just doesn't land. I'm curious is if anyone says Sarah says I agree. I'm wondering if there's residents here or not like again, I'm not saying this is right this is just kind of my opinionated stance on how I feel around what actually they want to orient to when we are holding space because we can get really caught up in like the perfect teaching. I went to a workshop a couple of months ago and I noticed this I can see how it can bring about more dysregulation. Yeah. And it doesn't mean that a website can't still be good if there is no nervous system awareness or it's a it's not paced or held well, maybe we can still receive a lot. However, it's something that really changes people's lives. So I just got into the summit of sensuality, which you all will have access to. And the number one feedback, time and time and time again was Whoa, those pauses and deep breaths changed my life. I'm telling you, like there's hundreds and hundreds of posts or emails or messages and they just keep talking about the pauses and the deep breaths.

 

Unknown Speaker  

That sounds a lot that

 

Speaker 1  

invitation. Lens. People are raving this

 

Speaker 1  

we had 30,000 Women sign up to this summit, which is amazing. The reason why I'm saying this is because I want you to know that a lot of people in the summit were deeply impacted by the interviews. And yet the main feedback we got was about the pauses and the breaths. It was also a constant throughout the summit. Right? So that was something that was weaved in if it was just one interview that was also inviting that with the interview or with with the people in the interview. So it was a culture that was created throughout the whole summit. And why I'm telling you this is because I want you to know that you don't have to do a lot. You don't have to bring all of these shiny objects in front of everyone and try to prove something people people are craving to slow down and feel and be together I can notice that there's this thing in me that wants to like shape everyone and be like Do you understand?

 

Unknown Speaker  

We need to do training to let that lapse

 

Speaker 1  

because there's so many layers that we carry that teeth this huge wall of protection. And it's painful when you feel it and you see it and I'm sure I'm positive that you are feeling that I'm sensing that within yourself within the people around you. It's just very, very simple. It's very simple. And the teaching support the awakening, as well the teaching support people to you want to provoke your mind you want to get people thinking actually first because this is our main Modus, this is our main operating system. So feeding the mind with what is patriarchy what is internalized misogyny. How does that leave out what is pregnancy accommodation? What is the shadow? What are all of these pieces that live within us and then slowly like tearing away before moving away the fold and you can do that in tandem with somebody invitation will be throughout

 

Speaker 1  

so, if there is anything that you can take away around facilitating the importance and pacing things, taking the transitions between your words

 

Speaker 6  

taking no transition between one thing to another

 

Speaker 1  

letting the things again, the concept of eating right you're not just shoving everything all at once. So if we take a bite and chew it, let it go in to our digestive system. We're not getting the whole plate to slide I don't know if you've ever seen it a video a YouTube video of cats that and they like they open their whole mouth and try to get all the biscuits in at once. This is very funny and it kind of reminds me of how we consume things in our life. It's like give me as much as possible. And I will tell you to transparency. There's always around three to four women that drop out of this program in the first week because they're like this is too slow for me. I can't deal with this. It is it's truly stabilizing. And yeah, it's really sad because I really wish that they would have been able to stay longer to find out a bit more if it was for them or not. Because not this is not for everyone. And that's okay as well. But the main point that I want to make is that we need we need people all over the world who are bringing this embodiment in. And again, it goes back to embodied leadership. It goes back to inhabiting, occupying yourself and titrating slowing down, taking those breaths being with someone being with a tree being with the plant being with your animal being with your child or partner being being with the room. And how can we invite more people to be with lives and feel touched by life? So as you notice, as I'm speaking, what is it that you notice as I am speaking the past few minutes besides crying but what is it that you sent in the way that I am communicating?

 

Speaker 1  

deep passion calm soft passionate through your heart deep love of life and connection you are being with yourself or being with us trucking you're very connected to yourself something authentic and embodied. Okay. So these thank you for these reflections. There's a match between what you were saying and the pace in which you were talking limbic resonance, what you've said doesn't occur to me just as words I believe you when you speak cool. So these are all kind of embodiment pieces which are very beautiful. But I'm more looking to what Yoli has spoken to which is slow taking pauses, gentle, soft. So as I'm speaking, and I don't want you to copy me or say EDA or whoever writes Kimberly, whatever teacher here David we're all very different and yet, what I want you to explore within yourself is how you can bring titration into the way that you communicate. So what you'll notice is that I have micro pauses in between my words or my sentences and this helps things feel more digestible. Have you just noticed now there were like four IPs, like did a pause. The I just want you to talk to yourself for a moment and just again, it's not about mimicking me. I just want you to play around with this type of pacing. So just just talk share it doesn't matter what it is that it's just saying word and then pasting. It pauses

 

Speaker 6  

what does that mean? I would say that I feel the gaps between society education. Today I went to the beach

 

Unknown Speaker  

and I went for a swim

 

Unknown Speaker  

with the dog. Doesn't matter what it is

 

Unknown Speaker  

Hey,

 

Unknown Speaker  

and now I want you to stay

 

Speaker 1  

in in a way that doesn't have first pauses in it so you know when we go to the beach and then we do this and then we wake up in the morning and there's a lot of innocence and then we take his practice and then we go down to the moon and then we will come home and then we'll take a deep breath and then really just just get into that energy for a moment.

 

Speaker 6  

And then basically after that we then will go and the better humans together because I took time not to breathe here and it feels rushed and not able to process.

 

Speaker 1  

So I want you to explore and play around with your, your place between those two, maybe it's a bit there. Maybe it's here. There's kind of a spectrum and I want you to explore what your spectrum of pace it feels really natural for you. To see if you can just bring some kind of pauses into what you do. And even now I am having pauses even though I am speaking words more or less right after each other. Yeah, and then there's a couple of seconds pause and I continue. I'm not thinking about any of this. I'm not like counting my words. Or anything like this. It's a certain rhythm. It's a certain rhythm. It's like a it's like a song. It's like a dance. So this is something that touches people and they can walk away and be like I didn't know what it was but there was something about the way she helped to space or shed things that just touched me. And I find that it's got to do with this pacing pieces pause piece so this this is important and this is I'm sharing I'm sharing the reflections I've received over the years that have felt like good feedback around facilitation as well. And also don't get caught up in being the perfect facilitator or the perfect pizza or anything like this. A lot of this comes actually from you know, this walking exercise that we did just walking in the room and kind of looking around. A lot of my connection to this comes from being in nature. And slowing down and like really allowing the beauty of life to intimate there's something that drops a little bit deeper in connection. So these for me like the things that I do in my life translate in how I hold space and facilitate and connect. Just take a breath we'll just I'll get you to point out we'll point out a couple of more things and take a break and then I'm have a document and I'm going to pull it up and get practical because I'm just kind of again going off what is alive right now spontaneously. I want to

 

Speaker 1  

what I'm gonna do is talk briefly about what we're going to look at. So the main thing is, is that when you are giving if you're creating some kind of workshop, maybe it's a women's circle of two hours, maybe it's a one day workshop. If it's a two day workshop, it doesn't matter what it is. We want to have a beginning, middle and an end. Just like an essay, right like you you have some kind of structure and even within the emergent field he wants to have some kind of structure and a structure. Another way of putting that is a container. A container. So people are walking in in their container, they held their x, they're coming into an experience, right? And that's also like a ritual you want to have a beginning with a limb and in a ritual as well. It's it's a space, it's a portal. It's it's a place that people come to drop the outside world. And so we really want to create the set and setting in a way that supports that. So what we're going to do is go through a list that I've written and created around all the little elements I feel create held workshop space, and we're going to also look at how to open up a space how to like somatically open up a space open up a space with connection with people. What what are the important elements I feel you when you're in like a workshop space, some challenges that we can have as well. And we're going to do a couple of practices around challenging participants. So let's take a 10 minute break. Come back at 35 past the hour and we'll get into work season

 

Speaker 1  

it's like a charger, spirits company wide computer chat. All right. So, opening a workshop creating a workshop. As I said we will go into teachings in our next session. But I wanted to kind of through the journey of a of a session and again this can be a woman cycle of two hours away, just coming together and sitting together and sharing about the theme. Having a sharing circle, for instance, presenting the topic and having a discussion around. So we've got the beginning, middle and end at the beginning. whether it's online or in person, creating a space for people to enter. So whenever I'm online, I'll share music. Right? So you're arriving and there's an atmosphere, there's something going on. So, I mean, some of this might just be like, yeah, like this is all obvious, but for some people, it's not. So it's important that we get into the nuance of these things. So having an atmosphere having a space when people arrive, when you enter a space, there's an obvious shift one can have in your experience if you walk into a spa, and there's smells and music, and there's a shift that can happen as soon as we walk into a space so when we create the space and I may invite you to do this in your home, as well create an atmosphere in your home if you don't already. You know when I wake up in the morning, I put some Indian sweet music on an app or something so it's on and I wrap myself in oil, I give myself a breast massage, I don't wash or like I have a whole little thing that I do in the morning that sort of sets the scene and sets the tone of of my space. So I want you to start exploring how you can create atmosphere in your own home again, if you're not already doing this, it's quite an art to be able to beautify your space in some way. And beauty impacts us and it touches us and how can we bring beauty into a space that people are arriving into and that doesn't mean it has to be all extravagant, but beauty is something that we feel that we've sent them so whatever Beauty means to you and an atmosphere in a way. See, when you're creating a space how do you want people to provide How would you like to feel when you arrive into a space and think about it in like the in this way. The terminals which is a sacred space, terminals is a Greek word for sacred place, and a terminal set of sacred dwelling gave me the temple. And in my psychotherapy training, they taught me this word, but Taurus is what the terminology is creating the set and setting of our environment which is really important, especially for nervous system mode where they're entering and we want to evoke a sense of safety in the space and these little atmosphere elements support that when we are and you'll have all of this written down as well. So when we are arriving, it's beautiful to have some kind of music, allowing people to enter the space and just kind of like animals sniffing out of a place give give them some time to settle in and when you are gathering people together in whatever way that is I'm thinking more in person at the moment. Once people have sat down, what's nice to do is I'd like to just bring in the breath straightaway. I didn't want to slow down. Let's just start with a couple of breaths together to open up the space. Yeah, so doing something like this. It's setting the scene straightaway and doing a somatic dropping. If it's very new for people don't do like half an hour drop in or anything like that to slowly type titrate the slowness. Let's say that, so give people little little nugget sort of doses of titration and then start to expand it throughout the space. But please don't open up with like 45 minute tracking sensation because some people will just go berserk. If you've never done this before we don't we really, really, really want to meet people where they're at. So if you know it's an experienced group of people you've been wanting for a while fine, but if it's new people, be gentle with them. Yeah, it's a bit of a contradiction, isn't it? Because this is what being gentle actually can be. But for doing a long somatic dropping can be really destabilizing because they don't have the resources to know how to feel safe in their bodies even conducted themselves for two minutes, right. I'm not underestimate meeting people's ability to connect with themselves. But I'm just trying to give you a bit of a perspective of people that's new with this. You want them to feel safe, right? So feeling safe isn't always what we think, feel safe. It's what they need to feel safe. And that's the huge this person centered approach. So we don't want it to be having strong ideologies around bringing people into a certain place. This is this is the right way to feel safe. There's a general culture that you want to create, and then depending on the type of people that you're working with. So you go and work with corporate people. You want to adapt to them. You want to adapt to how they operate. And the second thing is, depending on your audience, you want to adapt your language in a way that they can understand what the hell you're saying. Because if you're talking about titration and this and that no one's gonna have any idea what you're talking about. So languaging is really important as well, depending on who you're talking to learn to simplify, learn to ground. These little these little words like quotes that came up today are nicely as like that learning how to occupy more of yourself. For me, that's something that I feel I could express to someone who doesn't fully know what I'm talking about. In a way we can at least provoke some thought of like, occupy myself, but if we say connect to your Soma What are you talking about, right? I try to give you the bland as polarity to our work, but you're not going to be serving any money if you're not communicating to them in their language. It's like going to Italy and speaking Dutch right? It's like it's a different language. So learning learning how to apply information. And setting the setting in a way that is tailored to different groups of people is an art form and something to really look out for as well. So am I being settling doing a document also inviting in resourcing and permission? What I love to do it at the beginning of a workshop is give permission. A it's okay if you feel a bit awkward, a bit shy, it's natural to be in a space and want to check other people out. Maybe you're noticing yourself comparing yourself to other people. Maybe you notice yourself like sensations in your body getting activated. You might feel jittery, speaking to experiences people can have when they arrive into a group space with other people. A lot of people have root trauma. So as you can normalize the physiological responses or the behavioral responses that they may be having, that maybe they're not even fully aware of, but are doing like everyone wants to check people out when they come into a space. Women want to know who's the most beautiful if they're the most beautiful men want to check out their level of power. There's all this bullshit going on around the power dynamics as soon as people enter a room. And we don't have to speak directly to like, Hey, who's looking for the most power in the space, but if you know about group dynamics, and how people operating rooms, then you'll start to understand there's a whole lot going on in the group. field as soon as people enter a space. That's why it's super important to bring in safety as quickly as possible and to normalize and to orient orienting helps to dispel a lot of that arriving in a new space in a general sense. So it's a really good way of bringing get people to look around the room get people to look at each other. So often what I do is if I mean in a physical space, but also you can do this online is everyone arrive but sit down and even before somebody drop him just say okay, let's resource ourselves resourcing assume that we have everything that you need, you know, educate while you are inviting let's resource resourcing is feeling good seeing what's working, what's going to work. See if you're more comfortable. So actively teaching while you're demonstrating and inviting people in to killing two birds in one stone, horrible metaphor, but I'm using it, see how you can bring what you're teaching and modeling that in at the same time. This is an art to inhabit in facilitation, modeling, educating transmuting once people are shut down, and you have invited them to a resource, this is where you can speak into noticing what it feels like to be around new people in the space checking in with your body. How does it feel just gonna invite everyone to check out the space so slowly looking around the room, taking your time. And now if you want you can also look at the people in the space to bring some eye contact and if you don't want eye contact, you can just kind of look around still in the space knowing that other people may be also looking at you. But see if you can meet some eyes that some people will really allow yourself to receive people in the space. Right? Something can drop. Because what happens is when we arrive into a space, we're just like okay, cool money and now we're going to talk about how to create a cup. Yeah, people still mind fucking around physical space these days and they save and there's all this stuff going on. So if you can just like get all of that out of the way and get them present with the binder, then you're creating an atmosphere of safety and connection immediately. So this is really really impactful, something like this. This for me is another system awareness. This is really understanding how people cooperate, and spaces with each other. A group dynamics learning about group dynamics is really beautiful. And just tracking how people operate in groups. There's a lot of different archetypes that come up as well. Attending group workshops and just researching how things operate and how people operate. Just go and observe it's very interesting, but it's also in person. But speaking to these beings, I find is a game changer. Take a breath. See there's so many little things that you can bring in that just shifted entire space, a space of receptivity learning so this is what we would say is at the beginning, it's an opening. It's an orienting, it's a landing, done a welcoming, settling in acknowledging newness, eye contact and ground orienting, speaking and giving permission to what it's like to arrive at a new group. And then there's some key elements that we want to include in our bookshops pesos. So what I like to include is everything that I've just spoken about some kind of checking to the person next to you and share how you feel for a minute. So Jamie, can you write these things down? Because I've written lots of notes, but I'm also bringing up things that come up for

 

Speaker 1  

1. So having a check in, you can either have a check in where there's popcorn style, everyone just share one word how you feel right now. Or try and do that for like two minutes, right? You don't want to have that as like a 20 minute thing. And not everyone has to share as well. Okay, like, this isn't about everyone having their fair moment of sharing is this you want to get in touch with the group field. Once there's been depending on your group, so you have 20 people even if 10 People have done some shares like I feel like heavy or expanded or sad or whatever. If you get about 10 voices, you've got the group feels like you've heard the field. So group shares are not often about the individual person, but listening to the field, because group spaces are a lot more about the collective than the individual. And when you're in a group space, your number one priority. is who

 

Unknown Speaker  

the individual or the group. When you're in a group space, who are you primarily looking after?

 

Speaker 1  

So you're looking after the group. It's a group body. So it's not that the individual dissolves and they're Revell irrelevant. Each individual contributes to the group field. But you are always thinking in benefit of the group what is best for the group so it's one person shares their feelings and they're going on for 10 minutes. That's not benefiting the group, if they're going for 10 minutes, and they're not attuned, they're not being facilitated well, because we are finding too much to interrupt them and ask them to please write it off. For instance, we're going to talk about this soon. These are the things that you need to be thinking of, especially when there's people sharing. I'm taking care of the group. This person is sharing the benefit of the group not of themselves. That can sound a bit harsh, it is for themselves. It is because they are having you are having your own personal experience, and it's in service as a group. It's a collaborative field, right? So our shares are important, they're actually necessary and vital, but as a facilitator to thinking about the collective when someone shares so when I get someone to come on and share how was that for you? If I feel that the answer didn't land or the question wasn't fully answered, I'm going to find a way to circle it or facilitate it in a way that that it can be received and that they can distill that answer within themselves clearly, but it's also helping the group understand someone's inner experience how they're sharing instance, so they can feel seen to right so the understanding this layer when we're in the group, it's the main priority is when you're with the individual, they're the center of the whole entire wealth. So there's a different, you have a tendency, especially for those who have 14 inside of them to try to make every single individual person happy in the space and this is going to kill your job to kill your space. It's going to kill your teaching, and it's going to help like get people to feel disengaged and disconnected. So if you find it difficult right now, and we're going to do an exercise to test these, I'm going to pull out one or two of you. We're going to do a simulation, if you find it difficult to facilitate someone who's sharing for longer than the container that you gave. And you're you're wanting to caretake This is something I want you to work with. And this often has to do with your inability to setting boundaries in your life. Yeah, so there's always a direct correlation with our challenges in facilitation and how we're showing up in our personal life. So somebody who finds it challenging to gently interrupt and awesome to read, I read awesome to close. If that's really destabilizing for you. There's no shame there's nothing wrong about you. It's just a good reflection to see oh, maybe I'm finding it difficult to also set some boundaries where there's something in your life that isn't incongruent, direct relationship with your capacity to penetrate space like that. So it's not necessarily about manufacturing good facilitation skills, you can do that. But also looking at the areas of your life where your facilitation and your life near each other, because they do it's quite amazing. Like all the little pieces that can come up or the little shadows that can come up, we can trace them back into our personal life as well. Which is beautiful. And it's holistic. This is for me like holistic, embodied leadership. And you don't have to be perfect. You can say at the beginning, you can say even after and I've done this, wow, that was really challenging for me to do, I really struggled to interrupt you there. And I noticed that there's shaking in my heart. It's not easy for me to do something like that, not in a way of feeling like appeasing again, but you can speak to challenges that you have as a facilitator with a sense of authority with a sense of I have these challenges and yet I've still got You're right. There's an element of I have abilities, I can be transparent, and I'm in contact with myself and I can hold this space. Yeah. So there's a

 

Unknown Speaker  

there's a dance between that.

 

Speaker 1  

So having an opening. Checking is great. Again, you can do it by popcorn style. You can get people to turn to the person next to them and share for a minute how they are. It's nice for people to just feel like they can be seen in some way. Human beings have a need to be seen. And if you can do something at the beginning of the workshop where they can feel seen and heard. That's going to release a lot of energy and bring them into present. I like getting them to find a group of three or the person next to them and share how they feel for a minute. This helps them to be able to also discharge any challenges that they may be having. So they're not bringing it into the space as well. Yeah, so if people are going through a lot of time and they say you're in a multiple day workshop of some kind for those who are facilitating a lot. It's nice to have those check ins in the morning where people can discharge and share. Because they do bring it in and they can start to tamper with the field a little bit as well. Another thing besides these check ins, is doing some kind of embodiment at the beginning. Something is nice, you know, it doesn't have to be all the time but it's nice to get people in their bodies as well putting on a song or dance or something like this. But the elements that are wonderful to include are these openings like for resourcing somatic drop in check ins and then having some kind of opening talk setting the scene. Why are we here? What are we doing here? What are we talking about? What's the theme or is having some kind of theme some kind of intention to people know, the map that they're looking at? And again, it doesn't have to be this very clear skeleton. But more like, Hey, what are we doing here? Why are we sitting together and opening up people into a conceptual understanding of the space that they're entering together? There's this piece on permission that I also like which is you don't have to be the perfect student. I want you to be yourself. I want you to feel relaxed and that you are doing that as well. Don't tell people to do that when you're not doing that yourself. So making sure that you are modeling what you're inviting. And you can also speak to again if this is all true for you but you can say like you'll notice me yawning sometimes you'll notice me stretching we're going to like you're creating the culture from the beginning. This is a this is a place where you can be yourself where if you need to lay down you need to stretch if you need to get up and move your body a little bit if you're tired, Infineon I'm also going to be doing the same. I'm going to be we're going to hear were listening to what our body means. And we're going to support each other to do that. So as soon as you do that, you're you're setting the culture. If you don't do that, and you just start doing your thing, that's great, too. But if you tell them what's going on, and you're not doing these things in a performative way, it's very natural and authentic. But if you tell them, they're going to feel a sense of relaxation and permission right? So bringing in that that acknowledgement of permission of the culture, that whatever the culture is, I'm just sharing mine that can set the scene and deepen in the teaching as well. So the culture is very much also related to the teaching how are you delivering a class that is embedded? That is seeded from No wait, how do I say this? Is what I have come from NC with the culture that we're creating and the teachings reflecting that it's like the teachings are being lived through the culture and the space that you're creating. Yeah, concurrency, concurrency, concurrency, concurrency within without leaving the culture within your life. I don't want that to feel like pressure. It's like oh my god, I have to deal with these things to say it's not about being all these things when you're leaving and in connection to what it is that you're sharing to people. Right. And when I'm sharing about culture, in my in my examples, I'm not telling you that this has to be a cultural thing like examples. As examples. Your culture might be hot and fiery and 60 or really meditative in quiet like whatever it is, how is their stream of congruence between everything that you're doing? Yeah, does that land for you? Yeah.

 

Speaker 1  

So also from setting the culture when you do some kind of introduction and talk some orientations for theme and what you're doing so you're giving a 20 minute talk on erotic innocence themes since what's nice to do after giving an introduction talk is to ask people, what's land in front for them. What is What are they discovering, or what are they if these are something that they've learned or they've woken up to? Was there an aha moment? So after you've shared bringing in some voices, I'd love to hear what's coming up for you after I've shared this. And then got a couple of people to share. And here's the important thing. Set the container for the share. I want you to like tattoo this all over your body. Set the container for the share. Because if you say how was it for you, and they give you a whole discourse, that's going to also not be what we want. So unless that is what we want, if we say I would like to hear a discourse of 20 minutes for someone to tell me how that impacted them. That's setting a container for a ship and setting a container for a ship. I'd love to hear what's coming up for you after I shared this lecture. I want to get a couple of people on and if we can share for about two minutes what came up. And I'd ideally love to hear one or two themes that that touched you in this and just making sure that we're not bringing too much information from the past or big things we've been through. We don't have emotional shares right now. We just want to have people really sharing the specific things that came up. Right now I even think I gave too many words just now that I've heard will be like, Oh, cool. I know now what I bring in and what's that what that is doing is that it's taking care of a group. It's helping people get really clear on what they're saying and delivering something that feels tangible and digestible. Yeah. So this other form of the art of facilitation is giving a container around the sharing another way that you can get people to share so you've done a half an hour embodiment practice and have access to a lot of emotion. You may be inviting, also being aware of the type of process you've gone through and the type of share you're inviting and how many people you kind of feeling triggered by new stuff space. So after a big process that may activate promotion, I would usually have two women share and usually the women that want to share are the ones that have had some kind of deep emotional process. And you because you can potentially foresee this. You can say it can open up a space. We're gonna have about 10 minutes of sharing, give people some kind of understanding of each mini container that they're going through so that I think what we're going to settle in, we're in the process of proceeding now. And this can just sit more relaxation into the shares that people are having, knowing that we're going to hold space for others potentially now nothing might happen as well. So we're not going to search for like drama or anything like this. But when you are potentially knowing that there's an emotional share that may come up creating that kind of space around it can be really supportive, as well. And sharing like hey, if there's someone that's feeling an emotion, that they're feeling stuckness having this in their body that they feel intense, I want to invite you to come into the space. We're going to take a little bit of time with you and these are the moments that you can bring in more of that one on one some of the coaching. Right. So how are you feeling right now? What's alive in your body? Getting people to you're facilitating the share a little bit, right? And if you notice, someone starts to talk over their emotion. There's two different ways people talk over their emotions. There's talking over the emotion to try to push it down. And some people just talk and are crying at the same time and that's beautiful and the way that they're just in contact with their experience.

 

Unknown Speaker  

But

 

Speaker 1  

it is quite obvious for me when someone is trying to talk while an emotion is actually wanting to come through and these are the moments that you can I just pausing for a moment let's just like that emotionally felt and then we can continue talking. Yeah. These are the subtle forms of penetration, that gentle penetration into the space that you want to have to be able to help someone open deeper to themselves. That's what facilitation is. You're facilitating their process. So the facilitation is, hey, can we take a pause? That's you facilitating? That, just invite that in? So you're like you're looking at, at what's happening and then architect architecture in the space around that achievement that you're having. So, these are the processes that you've seen in multiple different ways throughout the year of just the subtlety of connecting to the sensation, allowing the emotion to come through. Being in the present moment that emotion starts to move through me feel with liberated and relaxed.

 

Unknown Speaker  

Let's take a breath

 

Speaker 1  

when someone is having a share like this. I want you to include the group. I want you to invite the group to be present. So everyone as I'm with jamie right now,

 

Unknown Speaker  

I want to

 

Speaker 1  

invite you to take deep breaths and be really present with Jamie at the moment. Because being together as a group as Jamie goes through this process, and if I'm inviting Jamie to as she's feeling and having an emotion to me, I'm wondering how it feels to bring out your hand on the chest or with a hand some of it feels natural to you and say Jamie, this is great. I'm gonna I'm gonna get everyone else to place their hands on their body how Jamie is right now. Right. This is bringing in the group field. This is weaving in Jamie's experience into the collective it's making from a personal to a collective experience of holding of being with because Jamie's feeling that for a lot of people. Jamie is holding an emotion a story a narrative that a lot of you in the space also can relate to. And what I love about group work is that when one person does the work, they're doing it for the field. They're doing it for the collective. If you want to come to the Shadow Work facilitator training we go deeply into this. The Shadow facilitator training is a lot around group dynamics and the collective healing tribe as Christian would call it. So these are the pieces that are really powerful. And you know, when you recognize that one person is coming up, and you include the group, there's a group healing that's happening. So bringing in people where they're connecting somatically with that person, Jamie, let's take a deep breath together and I'm gonna get everyone else to take the breath with us. Yeah. Having your orientation in two spaces, you actually facilitated two pieces in that moment. So let's maybe repression and the group and it doesn't have to be complex, whatever you get Jamie to get the group do to do that's all I'm saying. That's the blue symbol as Jamie handled hot brew candle on hot Jamie deep breath group deep breath. Yeah. So this is something to train yourself in and to move in to but this this is really powerful as well. When someone has had a share and emotional share, oh Carrie so nice seeing you when you when when someone has had a share the vulnerability happens even more once they've stopped sharing so we can feel like it takes up too much space was a mess. So what you want to do is make sure that there's still being held after the share online getting people to understand kind of the culture getting people who have already been doing this rather you're gonna do that head love and love everyone to for those who would love to share in the chatbox send some love to Jamie Right? Or share some inspiration. Not inspiration because this is this is a piece that I'm going to go into. But everyone I'd love you to just give some some words of affirmation to Jamie after this Unifor share that she's had. So they're getting an imprint, if attuning group. What I like to do is once someone's have a share, if they have people next to them I will say would you like to receive some touch and with the people next to you be open to just giving some kind of touch. Hand on the leg. Maybe it's holding maybe it's a little bit of a co regulation depending on the group space right depending on what you've bought into the space but even just some Jamie which would you like some some nurturing touch hands hand on your knee hub and letting them be with those people while still kind of present in the space as they let that tenderness move through them. So this keeps leaving in the process because once they've done, you don't have to be like I gave you some like just some weird stuff can come up after. So these are ways to continue to weave in connection and safety throughout space. If someone's really destabilized and especially in a group space and they they have access to a lot of emotion. And only start to access a lot of emotion in people if you feel that capacity. Otherwise keep it light. You control how deep it goes. All right. So if you feel like I don't feel comfortable even going into that domain, just don't do it. But then don't also do practices that amplify deep emotional states. Keep it light keep it fun, keep it Central, keep it in the pleasure zone, right? So you can do a lot of things depending on your capacity. Yeah, this is important. You can take people into beautiful spaces. Not everything needs to go deep and emotional either, you know, but don't bring people into emotional spaces. If you don't feel comfortable folding them. This is your responsibility as well get a lot of experiences on the webpage and just open your way because we all started somewhere with nothing right? It's all experience to slowly stretching the capacity to drink. Now if you have activated an emotional space and someone shared and they're still super vulnerable, having assistance is really important. Having at least one assistant I always have one assistant per 10 people. So if someone is still treated and I want to keep

 

Unknown Speaker  

facilitating

 

Speaker 1  

I have assistants there that can take the emotional support out of my hands and they can take them to the side. If it's in a group circle for instance, and CO regulate with them. Yeah.

 

Speaker 1  

So then they're taken care of and the space can continue as well. So having a slight co regulation assistant are really really really good for those that were in the shadow work training this year. We were like little pods of course regulation all throughout the week and it was so beautiful. To See also as that culture developed that people knew that they could just go and regulate and then the participants just started doing regulation with each other as well. We also added that became more of a learned piece. It stopped relying solely on the assistance as well as the group field started to be the CO regulating space as well. After someone who has had an emotional share. If this is what comes up. It's great to ask for impact. This could have been someone sharing two minutes with a really potent share. This could be someone sharing after five minutes or seven minutes of going through a bit of a like a somatic coaching experience in a group. And what's beautiful is to get people some people to share it. How did that impact you what touched you as you witnessed Jaime going through her experience with someone like to share and then when when I have someone sharing I would like you to just share the sensations that came up in your body if there was something that touched you like what touched you as a witness that people love to be relatable, people love to relate other people's experiences to their own. So you also want to monitor this when you when you are inviting impact. It's very easy to be like oh my god this happened to me too when my boyfriend said this and I had such a hard time and it was really painful for me. No and in fact, share is not about you. It's about how it touched you. For instance, I noticed when Jamie started crying I felt anything give an example of what an impact shell looks like as well. So I noticed when Jamie touched her hat put her hand on her heart and she started crying I allowed her emotions to come through. I felt so much relaxation in my body and I yeah I noticed how important it is to give space for our emotions. Right? Simple was an impact but in relationship to what happens not something that you can relate to about your life or a judgment or an interpretation. Yeah. So an impact share is really how did this touch you? And this helps to integrate the experience in the group as well. So having a couple of people to share impact inviting them, what would the sensations that came up in your body? Did you learn something from this? It deepens so everything is a teaching everything the culture the way that you're pacing the way that you're facilitating the way someone is being guided into their emotions, the way someone has impacted a whole teaching every single thing that you do. Yeah. And again, don't start going like okay, that's puts me in my mind. And now I have to think of everything that I do as a teaching. If you notice these things come up. They're really really, really natural. But just know that the more that you're embodying this within yourself, it's just going to be how it is in your own way in how it comes through you. Yeah, again, you may have a super fiery, vibrant personality, and the energy is going to be totally different. It's going to be your energy your creation, your culture, your transmission. That's what's so exciting is they get to figure out like what's my magic? What's my piece here

 

Speaker 1  

you know, I swear a lot I have my own personality quirks that comes through my teaching style. It's not my teaching style. But if we had to put it in some context, my teaching style, has my personality coming through it and that's what I mean. You want your personality to come through whatever it is, maybe you're shy. You're a bit dorky. Maybe you're really sensual. Maybe you're funny, maybe you're a bit crude and swear a little bit, whatever however you are just allow yourself to be yourself because that's what people want. They just want to be around people who can be themselves because that's what they're coming to sort of be

 

Unknown Speaker  

around you for. Yeah.

 

Unknown Speaker  

So let your personality shine. Let your quirks come through

 

Speaker 1  

something else to weave through our dance breaks, pleasure moment resourcing moments deep breaths, keep the energy alive, keep it regenerative and not draining. Let's all stand up. And shake our bodies for 20 seconds.

 

Unknown Speaker  

Making some sounds

 

Unknown Speaker  

and snacking nobody is.

 

Speaker 1  

Let's just bring some like spiraling movements into your upper torso. However that feels for you

 

Unknown Speaker  

opening up your spine

 

Speaker 1  

Okay, so I've been talking for a little while and then doing something like this. It brings energy back in right it brings life alive back into the space and this is how you create regenerative leaders leadership is by bringing in those moments of pleasure bringing in those moments of shaking of deep breath of an outbreak itself. It keeps it's not even sustainable but regenerative. You want to gain energy from your leadership. You don't want to lose energy. That doesn't mean after three hours after you're tired especially when it's 1030 at night right now, but there is pleased this is this resourcing and leaving in pleasure and movement and state changes help to keep the energy up. Yeah. So do you notice this a little shift just from shaking, right it's okay to be like going on slashing some cold water on your face and I could just say everyone was smashed on my face and come back and let's continue. Alright. I've done that before. That's a good, good idea. Right like so these are really great weaving in dance breaks pleasure at the moment resources, deep breaths, keeping the energy alive. This is really really,

 

Unknown Speaker  

really important.

 

Speaker 1  

Within sessions as well. So we've talked about somatic drop in arriving giving permission creating the culture, checking in getting people to check in and having an introduction talk, what it's like to have different types of shares, making sure that we're creating a container when people are sharing what it's what impacts share is like how to bring an impact share how to support someone after they've had an emotional experience with CO regulation. Other things to weave in just in a general structure of a workshop is the beginning of these sorts of somatic dropping all the things I just mentioned, but like a somatic drop in a check in a paid embodiment and opening talk and lectures. So I'm sharing and then bringing in different exercises. So bringing in some after your your lecture or your talk you could get some questions that people need to answer. We've talked about a running innocence. You can write some questions on the board and then get people in groups of three to share what is the verdict to you? What is a running innocence to you?

 

Unknown Speaker  

How connected are you to your

 

Speaker 1  

body? When was the first time you remember feeling pleasure in your body, getting people to be in dyads and triads and be able to share to each other giving them you know, two minutes each having a bell ding after two minutes has gone for each person facilitating that type of space. These are all little dynamic ways that you create connection and teaching sharings right so leaving pieces in like lecture sharing within the group sharing with another person sharing with three people. When people are sharing when you send them off to do shares 510 minutes you also get a break. This is nice, you know so it's going to bring in a difference between sharing and group shares and personal shares as well. What I love to do is give some kind of talk and then also be able to give people an experiential process as well as bringing people into like accessing the ranges through the elements right that's an experience in talking about what does it feel like to be in a full spectrum expression about yourself and you're talking about broadening the scope of the feminine and how we get stuck in one idea of what the feminine is. And there's all these different energies or expressions that the feminine can embody. And you're going into this kind of conceptual realm. Now we're going to do a practice or now let's check to the person next to you or getting versus three and share what are your ideas that you have about the feminine? What are the sort of programming you've received around femininity, having these shares what's nice to do after you've had sort of pod shares is getting one person a couple of women from each of those small groups to share on behalf of the group the main points that they spoke about, right? They're not relaying the passion. Yeah, when I was with Sally and Sarah, we all had the same thought about femininity and we all agreed that we feel like we've also been indoctrinated within these themes and there was a general sense that we want to express ourselves differently. Right. So like, on behalf of the group, this is a nice way for the field to also feel like what other women saying I didn't get to hear everybody. When you put in a process of talking and lecturing. Now we've talked about the feminine let's actually have an experience of of accessing different expressions within ourselves right to broaden our experience within our body when you bring in something like the ranges of four to five, right? So then you bring into experience, getting to embody to experience and coming out let's have another shared by sharing integrating experience. lecturing, impact. These are all pieces that create holistic depth of experience for people. If there's ever been some kind of process, people need to share images, one word, let's all say one word. Let's all stand in a circle together. Hold hands out of that practice and share one word that you feel right now I've never had free grief, sad, depressed, angry, neutral, numb. Right? And one word can be more poignant than a whole sentence or a whole story as well. Yeah. So there's all these little different ways that allow us to be

 

Speaker 1  

breaths in between shares. The pacing the transitions between exercises and practices are really important as well. Going to inefficient around 20 minutes, but I'm going to talk about challenging participants. This is always a challenging piece around giving workshops.

 

Speaker 2  

I would like to ask someone to come on who feels talkative right now.

 

Speaker 1  

If that anyone know who is good, who would just like to kind of roll roleplay with me for a moment. Yeah, okay, Sarah. So they're just, we're thinking this way it was really we just want to roleplay I want you to start sneaking in a way that you are. You've just had this process and you're going into a lot of story, and it's quite fast. Yeah. So I'll give an example. Yeah, when I felt this emotion, I started to remember how my mother would talk to me as a child. And then I realized that, you know, I felt really abandoned as a kid and also like, not engaged in any way sort of in their own process right now. So yeah, whatever, whatever comes through. I just want to say one thing, when I'm talking about this, I'm not shaming people that do this, right. This is really important. I do this. In my personal life, specifically, my boyfriend cops, there's a lot you know, just like bah, bah, bah, bah, bah. This is human, but we're just talking about how to facilitate shares and benefit for the space right so I just want to make that really clear that I'm not mocking and I'm not checking in here. Okay, sir, I'm gonna be bullshit, like whatever it is that you can make things up. It doesn't have to even make any sense.

 

Speaker 3  

nervous, anxious, anxious, and if you want to wake up or anxious, and it made me feel back when I was about five or six years old and it happened in and somebody told me that I shouldn't ever feel anxious. And it's

 

Speaker 1  

okay, if we just stop for a moment. I don't think it's up to you. I just want to see if we can pause for a moment and just take a breath, if that's okay. I really want to I really want to hear everything you have to say him. I'm just wondering if we can find a little bit more slowness into what you're sharing so I can be more connection with you right now as you share.

 

Unknown Speaker  

Do you feel like that's possible?

 

Speaker 3  

I can do that. I can do that. When somebody said to me that I shouldn't talk so much and that made me feel really bad. And I feel like I'm really bad because I've spoken too much again. And when asked me to slow down until you want me to slow down by they're gonna cancel. Now, I really want to just keep talking, and it's making me feel anxious because everybody else is getting anxious just listening to me, but I don't have

 

Speaker 1  

well, Sarah, you We challenge him to feel like you need to be different than what you're feeling right now. And that's not what I'm trying to do. And just, it's actually more for me, I find it difficult to take in a lot of information at once. So the only reason why I'm asking that is more so so I can digest what you're saying a little bit better. I certainly don't want you to feel that anything you're doing is wrong. Like I'm being judged by everybody at the moment. I feel like everybody in the campaign I feel judged by everybody. And I feel lucky. To get up and go a lot further to leave. Thank you for sharing that. I really really appreciate you letting us in in your world in threes. way you feel that judgment in your body. Is there a particular sensation that you can feel in your body? What I want is just like one word that you can describe about a sensation that you have anybody? Just one word. Can you tell me where you can see that like feel that in your body? If you just place your hand where the noisiness sensation might be if you do touch it in the area that you're feeling, it's gonna invite everyone else to place their hands so if you

 

Unknown Speaker  

see the breath here to get the things that noisiness?

 

Speaker 1  

Sir, if you can just go to gallery view if you're not already and also see the other people with you being with their laziness as well. Let's just take another breath Yes

 

Speaker 1  

sir, thank you so much. For for coming on and shaping yourself and sharing yourself.

 

Unknown Speaker  

Okay, so

 

Speaker 1  

I'd like to hear from one or two of you briefly what you observed in this process. Someone would like to hold their hand up Yeah, it sounds like you did great. Sara. Elizabeth

 

Speaker 4  

Yeah. The whole the whole interaction with Sara was was really instructive and I think my big takeaway is I loved how you framed it as you need to purchase lowdown so that you could digest what she was saying because you really wanted to connect with her. And that completely reframed the idea that she was doing something wrong, because like you were putting it on on yourself, you know, and that was and I just, that was super illuminating for me because I have even though I'm a former teacher, where somebody's really going off. I'm so careful about how I interrupt because I don't want them to feel shamed or put on the spot in front of everybody else. So that was a big a big takeaway for me, but it kind of putting it is something you needed in order to be really connected to her. Exactly.

 

Speaker 1  

Exactly. I'm really glad that you've spotted that. And it's not a manipulation. It's not, it's genuine, like, you want to be able to be in contact with this person and you're not able to. So this is like a life tip for communication in general. If I'm feeling disconnected, and I need something to change, I'm gonna take responsibility for what I need, and not just be like, This person says I can't relate with them or dismiss them or shame them. Right. I just need to slow down for a moment. This is a shifting into like you're inviting you. You're seducing them in. And I notice how you asked her to use one word and I can see how this can help stop her from going deep into story. Yeah, this is also good. So when I was able to kind of like massage the situation you did a really good job like anyone said to me, you're judging me everyone hates me. That can be really destabilizing if you don't hold yourself in a way but even though this was simulated at some point, it felt real within like two seconds. It felt like a real situation. Like I felt like I was dealing with us there. I know that your personality reflectivity, we felt like a real situation. And I felt completely neutral in my body. And I've had situations like this before and the neutrality isn't coming because it was a role play. I'm not taking a right I'm not taking responsibility for her feelings. Like oh, you feel judged. Oh, that must be horrible to experience with empathy. Well, thank you for sharing how you feel right now. It takes a lot of courage to be honest about what you're experiencing. Yeah. Like you're you're holding a space of neutrality within your system. And I'm gonna tell you gonna get so much you projected on you. And you'll take it personal for a long time and then you realize it has nothing to do with you. When you start taking things personal, you're making it about yourself. And it's not about you. And it will take things off because you're a human being. It's a lot of experience and over time you just realize like, wow, people are just you just are a projection screen. Anyone holding space for anyone becomes a projection screen in some way. So yeah, the thing that helps me not getting stabilized is just the fact that I'm not taking it personal. And I'm not trying to caretake and what I'm doing is I'm reflecting what I'm hearing with empathy. Yeah. So the, the piece around, the one word helps to refine, right. And I said a couple of times, I just want you to say one word, just one word. I repeated that a couple of times. That gave the instruction a couple of times. Yeah. So these pieces are really important. Now the biggest hurdle is interrupting someone. Once you've got that you're in the flow. It's Jenny, it's first getting the engines up to do that. And don't do it within the first few seconds. Maybe about a minute or so to get to feel the person first. And if you feel like okay, this needs to be redirected then you come in. Okay, who would like to do this with someone else? Let's have someone practice with someone else. Okay, so this isn't the time guys. So we would like to be the storyteller. Let's say we'd like to be the one that is sharing their experience and he would like to be the facilitator. I'll speak to that in a moment. Good opportunity to practice guy so come on, he wants to do it. It's okay. It's all good. It doesn't have to be perfect. This is like come on. Let's do it. This is a training ground but in a safe container.

 

Unknown Speaker  

You want to use this opportunity. I'm gonna have to pick two people are gonna stop threatening

 

Unknown Speaker  

my girls, we're past this point. It's at the end of the year. We can do it.

 

Speaker 4  

I'll be the interrupter. I'll be the facilitator. Yeah, I'll find that I'm really tired. So probably not gonna be that claim. It

 

Speaker 1  

doesn't matter. It wouldn't matter if you're half asleep. I just want us to have an experience of this. So thank you so much, Elizabeth, who wants to be the participant okay. You alright, so Rebecca, you are the participants. You are the type facilitator. I'm gonna facilitate this a bit when I feel like it's time to close what we want this to be around. Four minutes or something, something like that. Alright, so Rebecca, Elizabeth to kind of note, the main thing that I want you to practice Elizabeth is interrupting, so I'm not going through a whole process. I just want you to interrupt and then see how you can guide her into slowness. Yeah, this is this is what? Yeah, okay. Let's go

 

Speaker 5  

so I start um, so when I'm feeling this feeling, I'm feeling a lot of anxiousness, a lot of anxiety. It reminds me of feeling triggered it totally reminds me of my ex husband, and when he would treat me this way, and I don't know, I just remembered all of the things leads to tyranny. And yes,

 

Speaker 4  

I'd like to invite you could we just read together for a minute, I really want to connect with you and I really want to hear what you had to say. And I just noticed I was holding my breath. So can we just take a breath together? Sure. Okay. Oh, maybe one more.

 

Unknown Speaker  

Thank you.

 

Speaker 4  

I'm curious. You were saying that you were feeling really interested to start remembering things about your relationship with your ex husband? And is there a particular sensation that you're feeling in your body when you feel anxious? Yeah, jittery like a really jittery Okay. And what is what is it you to reach feel like in your body?

 

Unknown Speaker  

I just don't want to just say,

 

Speaker 4  

like, okay, so like your like, your chest is like, like vibrating a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Can you show me that again? Like, that's just Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. What would feel what would feel good? What would you what would feel good and and maybe slowing down that that vibration and your hands a little bit?

 

Speaker 5  

Well, what comes to mind? I can't really do the moment from here don't get to be held and be like I'm somebody like ground me but I can try to do it myself.

 

Speaker 4  

How about using both of your hands in some way that makes you feel held? And just just breathing into that? Oh, if there's a sound that wants to come out on the outbreath you don't have to make a sound but if there is one, I'm gonna make one. So breathe in. Oh okay, let's close. And if you could tell me where's your anxiety level now?

 

Unknown Speaker  

I would say it's like half cut in half. That's

 

Speaker 4  

beautiful. That's beautiful. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that experience with me. Okay, I'm done.

 

Speaker 1  

So how does it feel Rebecca? How was it to firstly I think he did. So. Really. It was impeccable. It was beautiful. I would love to hear what happened here is How was it to interrupt so there's like this point it can be quite scary. So I don't know about the space

 

Speaker 4  

Yeah, it was. It was scary because I didn't want her to feel because I could tell that she had you know that this was a really, really deep experience with her and but it really helped me to just do what you had done about turning it back on myself by telling her whoa I realized I'm holding my breath, and I need to breathe. So would you do that with me? So that really helped me feel like it was okay to interrupt her because I was inviting her to do something with me. Instead of keeping instead of keeping all the attention on her and what she was doing.

 

Speaker 1  

Rebecca even though this was a simulated experience, how how was it to have that experience? did amazing. I'd like to say you're not tired. Yeah, for sure.

 

Unknown Speaker  

Good. Thank you.

 

Speaker 1  

I feel like I just have such a big smile on my face. That was fine. Yeah. And you can see that in about two minutes. You can draw some money and there was a revelation. There was a transmutation. There was a whole thing that just happened right now. And that was in a couple of minutes. So I mean, obviously it really depends on who you're working with. But when you can get people to slow down and invite me to a couple of different processes. They're in. They tend to not everyone, but you can see it and you really started to enter into the unchanging process as well. We just have practice at the moment. You know, he was suddenly opening up there was a big possibility to go there. But just getting them to externalize a feeling in the hand. Well myself, you know, so very beautiful. Thank you and you've got lots of praise in here. Such strong holding that was great, great job with you. So good. Amazing to the both of you. All right. Let's get to your app. Yeah, he just said it was fun. So let's have less you up. We're gonna close in like five minutes. I can do it. Yeah. Okay. Terry, do you want to be a participant or the facilitator I don't mind okay. That's the discipline of the facilitator. Facilitator. Awesome.

 

Unknown Speaker  

Can you guys hear me okay? My.

 

Speaker 1  

When I brought in I'll just say find an ending. It doesn't matter if the process is incomplete or not. I just want you to have a particular opening of that experience and then when they come in and say find an ending then then we can just pause and take a breath. Yeah. All right. So, Terry, you are the participant and Fiona use the same process.

 

Speaker 6  

To the exercise I started to read and then this this memory came up from when I was really young and terrible thing happened. I didn't even know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know where to go now. Should I stay? Should I leave?

 

Speaker 7  

Sorry to interrupt you. I'm gonna take a breath just for a moment. Have you know that I'm getting quite agitated in my body and I really want to connect it to it. I really want to hear what you have to share. But let's just come back and just granddad's out screaming I don't know if you've noticed. Do you want to just ground here and stay here with me? Keep your attention with me for a moment. Do you want to hold yourself in any way? Not at all. Not at all. You're not too much at all. Do you wanna take a breath with me? Take a deep breath in.

 

Unknown Speaker  

And just feel that entering your body and letting go of that anxiety that fear that worry that judgment that you're feeling? Beautiful

 

Speaker 7  

I would absolutely love to hear what you have to share. So if you want to help, I would love to know in just one way. How are you feeling right now? Your body does that feel uncomfortable for you? Yeah, that's fine. Just take a breath into that scared feeling doesn't just bring some presents into that and some laughing for that. One last breath

 

Speaker 1  

wonderful great. So so wonderful to have you guys coming up here and giving it a go. It really serves a whole space to not how was it do this?

 

Speaker 7  

It was good. I was getting nervous because I'm like everyone is watching right but I was like, what's the wrong thing or the right thing to do you have some stories going in but I felt that she folded my breath. I'm sorry. It was somewhat working and helping to ground her but I really enjoyed it

 

Unknown Speaker  

wasn't to be interrupted.

 

Speaker 6  

I didn't know what I was gonna do. It was just drop into whatever's in service to the group. So suddenly I found myself in like a tourist wanting to flee. It's a bit of a surprise. It's like I wouldn't have consciously given something so difficult. But I felt funny in the fleet. So it was I got a heartbeat fast and it was really eased by your voice by the slowness of your pace, by the really gentle invitation to come back and not be directing me for what I was feeling and actually just made the spelling bee inflated fears. And let's be together with it. And I felt my whole system calmed down. It was excellent. It really felt good. So thank you. Wonderful, that was magic. I felt it I felt your anxiety that represented in that way that kind of accelerate. So I feel I really felt the benefit of your facilitation

 

Speaker 1  

was a wonderful job. I would like to just give a reflection on two things I noticed may just have subtle shifts in languaging. Are you open to hearing this? Yeah. So there were two things that I feel could just shift a little bit. They use the word agitated. I would avoid using a word like that. Like I feel agitated even though it's a it's a somatic experience. That word can be taken really personal by someone like you feel agitated by them. So you just want to be careful. Maybe it was picked up. Maybe it wasn't I noticed a little contraction in my belly when he said that word and I just tried to invite more of a somatic languaging I noticed I feel a lot of shakiness in my body or I noticed I feel tingles in my body or it's something that you sensation based. Yeah. Yeah. Because you can always come across as like I feel a bit annoyed by you. Like it's not what you said and agitated. It can give a somatic kind of referencing, but getting more direct to the sensation is not an interpretation of like an agitated is kind of like an overlay experience of a sensation. Right. So just be cautious about this. No one's gonna die if you say it but I just will invite the situations are very sensitive because it's really sensitive and you are traveling, very sensitive to remain around this. Just check the words and try to keep it sensation based. And it doesn't feel really jittery in my body. Right. A lot of activations in my body right now, even just something like that activation is a bit more ambiguous, but it gives more of a referencing of movement in the body. The second thing was, do you want to or it was it was something like this or do you want to breathe with me and what I would get you to do is us how would have would it be okay? If we bring together some women so you're I felt that it was a bit of like, do you want to do this but it was a bit like do this in a way like not not as strong in the way that I described but the subtleties of Do you want to do this versus I'm curious if it's okay, we can do this together. So you are creating like you are commanding, but you're still giving an energetic invitation. Yeah. So there was still an invitation Do you want to do this, but there's just a really subtle ways to say things and the tones that we say them that can either create a feeling of unsafety and contraction in the body or a relaxation of opening and I feel like the way that you facilitated this was beautiful and just trying for teaching sake to pinpoint really the like nitpick just so we can learn but you did. Wonderful and you know if I wasn't going to get paid he did great. And well done. I'm really really really proud of both you and Elizabeth for demonstrating this. It's really, really wonderful. Yeah, we also need to get like flapping sounds. I've done that before.

 

Speaker 1  

So we're over time. I'm sorry. We're gonna close here. We will have this stuff in your facilitation manual. I will also at the beginning of next week, give you more of a download for your practicums now the full download of your practicals won't come until the sixth of January where I'm going to give you we're going to have our second last session is preparation like a deeper preparation if we really go into the nuance of the practicums. But we're having a lot of questions about can I get more information? Can I get more information? The main thing that you need to know is to set aside two slots in your schedule between the 14th of January and the 14th of February to two hour slots in your schedule somewhere. You're going to be asked to do one one on one session and one group session. Both online both in person one on line one in person, it doesn't matter. The group session that you're going to facilitate is minimum of three people. Okay. I would like you unless I can't remember who it was. But she said the only English people in this speak speaking people I know are my important members. So if you're in a situation where you're living in Spain or Italy and you don't have really any English speaking people in your life besides people in this program, yes. See if you're plugged members are available. However, I would like you to use especially I don't want you to use a pod member for one on one sessions. I really want you to have an experience of guiding someone new in this work. Your best friend your mom, your partner, whoever it is just not a pipe member because I want you to really feel the imprinting of what's it like to take someone is a fresh fresh in this in the group. six grams. You can have 10 women I we've had women who have held full workshops and advertised online for free. So I'm giving a free workshop two hours on feminine embodiment. Right? They've posted online they've made an event it's free